Quotes from book "Never split the difference"

Whenever I finish a book within two weeks thats really a good book. "Never Split the difference - Chriss Voss" is such a great book. It gives great perspective into handling difficult situations.  Here are some quotes from that book, I really enjoyed reading this book.

Always ask open ended questions 

• Separate person and emotion from the problem.
• Don't get wrapped up on other side position.  What they are asking vs why they are asking.
• Work cooperatively to generate win win option.
• Establish mutually agreed measures

Humans have two brains, the first one influences the second. To make an omelette you have to break egg, first brain is the egg.

• Animal mind: fast, instinctive, emotional
• Rational brain: slow, deliberate and logical.

BATNA: Best Alternative To Negotiated Agreement.

Listening is the best negotiation.

Human psychology has two aspects, presenting behavior and underlying motivation.

There are 3 kinds of "yes", counterfeit,  confirmation,  commitment.

If your biggest fear is NO, you can not negotiate, you are a hostage of yes.

No "NO" Ever means a no go.

BCSM: Behavior change stairway model has 5 stages. Active listening, empathy, rapport, influence and behavior change.

More than 90% patients don't change their habits even after heart operation. 

If you want to wear brown shoes and your wife says to wear black shoes, you don't bargain and wear one each. Never split the difference.  Next time you want to compromise,  remember this.

Let's say I offered $20 for a 3 minute errand, you will be really happy to know that you are makin $400 an hour. What if I gained a million dollar in that hour, suddenly it seems unfair to you.

Prospect theory: people are drawn towards sure things rather than probabilities,  even if the probability is better.

Don't start your question with can, is, are, does,  these are closed end. Rather start with

Who, what, when, where, why , these are open ended questions.

Yes is nothing without how. "Thats right" is what you want hear from your adversary.

7,38,55. 7% depends on words, 38% on tone, 55% on body language.

Repeat 3 times in mind to make sure you are getting confirmation YES.

Ackerman negotiation offer 65, 85, 95 and 100. Always go with unrounded numbers and calibrated questions in between. Offer 65% of your target price and raise as per the numbers discussed above. 

In every negotiation,  there are 3 black swans, unknown unknowns. This will completely change everything.

Review everything you hear, you will not hear everything.

90% of people let you do something out of ordinary, if you can give good reason.

Your "known knowns" should guide you, should not blind you.

There are 3 types of leverages. Positive(give them what they want), negative( holding back something and ability to hurt), normative(using norms/standards of your opponent against him).

People always open up to people they feel similar to. 

If someone is irrational dig into their constraints,  hidden desires, bad information.