One liners
(Its all collection. By the way collection means stealing from more than one individual)
Nothing shocks me. I'm a Software Engineer.
One liners collected on Net:
You don't get anything clean without getting something else dirty.
Your secrets are safe with me and all my friends.
Pick battles big enough to matter, small enough to win.
If you're not confused, you're not paying attention.
Unhappiness is best defined as the difference between our talents and our expectations.
Economy in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.
Don't take life too seriously. You'll never get out of it alive.
Until I was 18 I thought my name was 'Shutup'.
You can go a long way with a smile. You can go a lot farther with a smile and a gun.
Feedback is a business term which refers to the joy of criticizing other people's work.
A crisis is when you can't say: "let's forget the whole thing".
A Committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing, but as a group decide that nothing can be done.
Only 20% of boyz have Brain ... Remaining have girlfriends.
The most successful people are those who are good at plan B.
There are some defeats more triumphant than victories
Early to bed, early to rise, work like hell and advertise.
I hear, I forget. I see, I remember. I do, I understand
A person who graduated yesterday and stops studying today is uneducated tomorrow
A friend is one who has the same enemies as you have.
Abraham Lincoln
Old men declare war. But it is the youth that must fight and die.
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.
Herbert Hoover , Ex American President
I'm a slow walker, but I never walk back.
Old men declare war. But it is the youth that must fight and die.
Mark Twain
Buy land. They've stopped making it.
Benjamin Franklin
Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half-shut afterwards.
There are three faithful friends, an old wife, an old dog, and ready money.
Robert Frost
The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work.
In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on.
Oscar Wilde
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
George Bernard Shaw
Dancing: The vertical expression of a horizontal desire legalized by music.
The golden rule is that there are no golden rules.
If all the economists in the world were laid end to end, they wouldn’t reach any conclusion.
I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me
Computers will never take the place of books. You can't stand on a floppy disk to reach a high shelf.
I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.
The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
Nicholas Cage 4 rules from Bankok Dangerous.....
1. Never get interested in external things
2. Dont leave a trace
3. Dont trust anybody
4. Know when you have to exit. (Timing)
*Here are some nice Dilbert's one liners..: *
1. I say no to alcohol, it just doesn't listen.
2. A friend in need is a pest indeed.
3. Marriage is one of the chief causes of divorce.
4. Work is fine if it doesn't take too much of your time.
5. When everything comes in your way you're in the wrong lane.
6. The light at the end of the tunnel may be an incoming train..
7. Born free, taxed to death.
8. Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.
9. Life is unsure; always eat your dessert first.
10. Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.
11. If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you'll have trouble putting on your pants.
12. It's not hard to meet expenses, they are everywhere.
13. I love being a writer... what I can't stand is the paperwork.
14. A printer consists of 3 main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.
15. The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot. The guy who invented the other three, he was the genius.
16. The trouble with being punctual is that no one is there to appreciate it.
17. In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills?
18. If you cannot change your mind, are you sure you have one?
19. Beat the 5 O'clock rush, leave work at noon!
20. If you can't convince them, confuse them.
21. It's not the fall that kills you. It's the sudden stop at the end.
22. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
23. Hot glass looks same as cold glass. - Cunino's Law of Burnt Fingers
24. The cigarette does the smoking, you are just the sucker.
25. Someday is not a day of the week
26. Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.
27. To Err is human, to forgive is not a Company policy.
28. The road to success.... Is always under construction.
29. Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does Milk.
30. In order to get a Loan, you first need to prove that you don't need it.
and here's the best of the lot
31. *All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive, fattening or married to someone else *
Some Programming quotes....Must read...awesome and interesting
UNIX is simple. But It just needs a genius to understand its simplicity.
--Dennis Ritchie
Before software can be reusable, it first has to be usable.
--Ralph Johnson
Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment.
--Fred Brooks
It's hard enough to find an error in your code when you're looking for it;
It's even harder when you've assumed your code is error-free.
-- Steve McConnell Code Complete
The trouble with the world is that the stupid are sure and the intelligent are full of doubt.
--Bertrand Russell
If debugging is the process of removing bugs,
Then programming must be the process of putting them in.
--Edsger Dijkstra
You can either have software quality or you can have pointer arithmetic;
You cannot have both at the same time.
--Bertrand Meyer
There are two ways to write error-free programs; only the third works.
--Alan J. Perlis
Measuring programming progress by lines of code is like measuring aircraft building progress by weight.
--Bill Gates
The first 90% of the code accounts for the first 90% of the development time.
The remaining 10% of the code accounts for the other 90% of the development time.
--Tom Cargill
Programmers are in a race with the Universe to create bigger and better idiot-proof programs.
The Universe is trying to create bigger and better idiots.
So far the Universe is winning.
--Anon
Theory is when you know something, but it doesn't work.
Practice is when something works, but you don't know why it works.
Programmers combine Theory and Practice: Nothing works and they don't know why.
The Six Phases of a Project:
· Enthusiasm
· Disillusionment
· Panic
· Search for the Guilty
· Punishment of the Innocent
· Praise for non-participants
No matter how slick (efficient) the demo is in rehearsal,
When you do it in front of a live audience
The probability of a flawless presentation
Is inversely proportional to the number of people watching,
Raised to the power of the amount of money involved.
Nothing shocks me. I'm a Software Engineer.
One liners collected on Net:
You don't get anything clean without getting something else dirty.
Your secrets are safe with me and all my friends.
Pick battles big enough to matter, small enough to win.
If you're not confused, you're not paying attention.
Unhappiness is best defined as the difference between our talents and our expectations.
Economy in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.
Don't take life too seriously. You'll never get out of it alive.
Until I was 18 I thought my name was 'Shutup'.
You can go a long way with a smile. You can go a lot farther with a smile and a gun.
Feedback is a business term which refers to the joy of criticizing other people's work.
A crisis is when you can't say: "let's forget the whole thing".
A Committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing, but as a group decide that nothing can be done.
Only 20% of boyz have Brain ... Remaining have girlfriends.
The most successful people are those who are good at plan B.
There are some defeats more triumphant than victories
Early to bed, early to rise, work like hell and advertise.
I hear, I forget. I see, I remember. I do, I understand
A person who graduated yesterday and stops studying today is uneducated tomorrow
A friend is one who has the same enemies as you have.
Abraham Lincoln
Old men declare war. But it is the youth that must fight and die.
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.
Herbert Hoover , Ex American President
I'm a slow walker, but I never walk back.
Old men declare war. But it is the youth that must fight and die.
Mark Twain
Buy land. They've stopped making it.
Benjamin Franklin
Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half-shut afterwards.
There are three faithful friends, an old wife, an old dog, and ready money.
Robert Frost
The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work.
In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on.
Oscar Wilde
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
George Bernard Shaw
Dancing: The vertical expression of a horizontal desire legalized by music.
The golden rule is that there are no golden rules.
If all the economists in the world were laid end to end, they wouldn’t reach any conclusion.
I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me
Computers will never take the place of books. You can't stand on a floppy disk to reach a high shelf.
I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.
The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
Nicholas Cage 4 rules from Bankok Dangerous.....
1. Never get interested in external things
2. Dont leave a trace
3. Dont trust anybody
4. Know when you have to exit. (Timing)
*Here are some nice Dilbert's one liners..: *
1. I say no to alcohol, it just doesn't listen.
2. A friend in need is a pest indeed.
3. Marriage is one of the chief causes of divorce.
4. Work is fine if it doesn't take too much of your time.
5. When everything comes in your way you're in the wrong lane.
6. The light at the end of the tunnel may be an incoming train..
7. Born free, taxed to death.
8. Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.
9. Life is unsure; always eat your dessert first.
10. Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.
11. If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you'll have trouble putting on your pants.
12. It's not hard to meet expenses, they are everywhere.
13. I love being a writer... what I can't stand is the paperwork.
14. A printer consists of 3 main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.
15. The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot. The guy who invented the other three, he was the genius.
16. The trouble with being punctual is that no one is there to appreciate it.
17. In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills?
18. If you cannot change your mind, are you sure you have one?
19. Beat the 5 O'clock rush, leave work at noon!
20. If you can't convince them, confuse them.
21. It's not the fall that kills you. It's the sudden stop at the end.
22. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
23. Hot glass looks same as cold glass. - Cunino's Law of Burnt Fingers
24. The cigarette does the smoking, you are just the sucker.
25. Someday is not a day of the week
26. Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.
27. To Err is human, to forgive is not a Company policy.
28. The road to success.... Is always under construction.
29. Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does Milk.
30. In order to get a Loan, you first need to prove that you don't need it.
and here's the best of the lot
31. *All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive, fattening or married to someone else *
Some Programming quotes....Must read...awesome and interesting
UNIX is simple. But It just needs a genius to understand its simplicity.
--Dennis Ritchie
Before software can be reusable, it first has to be usable.
--Ralph Johnson
Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment.
--Fred Brooks
It's hard enough to find an error in your code when you're looking for it;
It's even harder when you've assumed your code is error-free.
-- Steve McConnell Code Complete
The trouble with the world is that the stupid are sure and the intelligent are full of doubt.
--Bertrand Russell
If debugging is the process of removing bugs,
Then programming must be the process of putting them in.
--Edsger Dijkstra
You can either have software quality or you can have pointer arithmetic;
You cannot have both at the same time.
--Bertrand Meyer
There are two ways to write error-free programs; only the third works.
--Alan J. Perlis
Measuring programming progress by lines of code is like measuring aircraft building progress by weight.
--Bill Gates
The first 90% of the code accounts for the first 90% of the development time.
The remaining 10% of the code accounts for the other 90% of the development time.
--Tom Cargill
Programmers are in a race with the Universe to create bigger and better idiot-proof programs.
The Universe is trying to create bigger and better idiots.
So far the Universe is winning.
--Anon
Theory is when you know something, but it doesn't work.
Practice is when something works, but you don't know why it works.
Programmers combine Theory and Practice: Nothing works and they don't know why.
The Six Phases of a Project:
· Enthusiasm
· Disillusionment
· Panic
· Search for the Guilty
· Punishment of the Innocent
· Praise for non-participants
No matter how slick (efficient) the demo is in rehearsal,
When you do it in front of a live audience
The probability of a flawless presentation
Is inversely proportional to the number of people watching,
Raised to the power of the amount of money involved.
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